Hello, everyone!

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So I gave out the URL to this site to a number of my close friends today while volunteering with Paws of Paradise, the local no-kill animal rescue group that meets at PetCo on Saturdays. I'm hoping that they'll drop by, so that they can get my email address from the top of the page and see how I'm doing.

To all of you, hello! Thanks so much for your support during this big transition in my life. I really appreciate all of you.

I honestly don't know if anyone else reads this blog at all, but I hope all that do will enjoy reading what I've got to say about life and whatever else I write about. Thanks for your support.

Love you all!

A Simple Update

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The 26th is only 15 days away... I'm preparing for it as best as I can. Trying to spend time with those that I love, and trying to get mentally and physically ready for boot camp. It's not too difficult, just somewhat repetitive.

I'm finding that things aren't going to be as hallmark-happy as I want them to be before I leave. Some relationships here won't be fixed immediately, and despite the fact that I want to heal them before I leave, this won't be possible. I only hope my time away can help, so that when I return every now and again the relationship can find itself stronger. I hate losing friends, especially those that I care so deeply about.

The card game that Bree and I have been inventing has a new name, Agents of War. Again, this name might change, but the game itself is maturing pretty well. We haven't been playing it as much as I'd wish, but that's okay. There are still a few rules that need to be updated or changed or removed for the game to work properly, and I'm pretty sure we're getting it down. Again, when the game is ready for release (at least a strong beta release) I'll post it here as a PDF.

If you pray, pray for me and my loved ones in the next two weeks. If you don't pray, then send good wishes or something. Love you all.

Suits of DESTRUCTION!!!1one

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So Bree and I have been working on a card game recently. I've found it to be very fun, and it uses normal game items (so you don't have to buy anything, probably). It's currently code-named Suits of Destruction (but that will likely change, as a card game called SoD is kind of lame).

Anywho, it's pretty fun, and I'll be uploading a copy of the game's rules as soon as I've finished revising it with our latest changes. (We're still in the process of perfecting the system.)

Check back soon for the latest information on the game!

In the Navy Now

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I've officially joined the Navy. I ship out to Boot Camp in Great Lakes Illinois on August 26th 2008.

I didn't get the job I was hoping to get, because of the fact that I was arrested when I was 16 for stealing. But the job I ended up getting is pretty sweet too, so I'm not too bummed about it.

Hope you'll all keep in contact with me as time goes on. You can always find me here at GridRunners // Brain Dump.

Love you all, and wish me luck as the Day of Reckoning approaches!

Standing on a Cliff, Preparing to Jump

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I'm scared, guys. Tomorrow morning I wake up at 7:00, get dressed, then drive to the Navy Recruitment Center, then to MEPS, where they'll weigh me, drug test me, and then allow me to sign over the next four years of my life to their service.

The next four years of my life.

Once I sign that paper, the deal's done. They own me. There's no turning back. Am I ready for this?

...

Do I have a choice?

...

No, and no.

The thought of leaving behind all that I know and love is weighing down on me really hard right now. I'm not prepared for this. Tomorrow I sign the papers and then decide when I'm leaving. Will I go as soon as possible? Or will I wait a while, try to sort things out some before I go? I've been waiting long enough, but I don't know if I'm ready to go yet.

Of course, I don't know if I'll ever be ready.

I think that the best option would be to give it a week or two. I won't ship out immediately, but  I won't wait another month either.

*sigh*

I just need to lay down, try to sleep, and deal with this tomorrow.

Love you all.

Linux Hesitancy

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So I've introduced a few friends of mine to Linux, trying to help them solve their computing problems. And so far, the majority of them are hesitant to try it, because they're not ready to learn something new or abandon the windows-specific software they're used to (despite the free and compatible Linux alternatives). I completely understand this trepidation. It's often difficult to learn a new system.

But if I can just convince them to TRY the new system, walk them through some interesting and fun tricks that Linux can do, show them things that would be difficult in Windows that are simple in Linux, and let them sit down and take it for a test-drive, the majority of the time, they are quite happy with the experience. It's like the ice is broken, and they're learning to swim, and enjoying it.

Just the other day I showed Linux to my friend Jeff, who was searching for a new system to use for his work, something stable and secure. He was very impressed by it and suggested it to our mutual friend Bree (who had been having some trouble with her computer). So after some demonstration via LiveCD, she allowed me to dual-boot the system on her Windows machine. I installed it, and set everything up for her, and then showed her around the system to get her started.

Now, the way her computer's hardware and BIOS is set up, it won't recognize a USB keyboard until an OS (Windows or Linux) is loaded. This had caused some trouble in the past trying to fix her computer. Because of this, now, she'll have to stick to using Linux until she can get a PS2 keyboard to boot into Windows. This is not a problem with Linux, but with her computer itself.

However, despite being forced to use nothing but Linux for the past few days, she's actually been very happy about it. She's browsing the web, playing games, and doing everything she needs to do without any trouble. She's been quite satisfied by her first Linux experience.

This makes me very proud, because I've been able to show someone a good, secure, and stable free alternative to the Microsoft rubbish that's been damaging their system for so long.

We're still going to get that USB keyboard so she can boot into Windows to play her Windows games, but for everything else she'll probably be more than happy to stick with Linux.

I'm proud of the Linux community and the Ubuntu community for providing such a simple and straightforward system, so that non-geeks like Bree and Jeff can effectively do everything they need with Linux. We've come a long way. And Linux Hesitancy is slowly dwindling.

:-)

Thoughts == Viruses

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Thoughts are Viruses.

Let me explain.

These are the basic characteristics of viruses (both biological and technological):
1. Viruses self-replicate. They make copies of themselves.
2. Viruses spread from one host to another host, but require some external mode of transfer.
3. Viruses are only effective if the host is vulnerable to them. Hosts can have immunities.
4. Viruses can change their host through infection.
5. Viruses are not alive, but they can evolve.

Now that you understand the basic characteristics of a virus, you'll better understand how these ideas apply to your thoughts. I'll describe the correlation between viruses and thoughts below, subdivided by the viral characteristics listed above.


1. Viruses self-replicate. They make copies of themselves.

When I tell you a thought I've had, that thought is copied from my mind to yours. And now, I have that thought, and so do you. My thought has replicated. Now you can share it with your friends, and their friends can share it with their friends, and so on. The thought can duplicate infinitely.


2. Viruses spread from one host to another host, but require some external mode of transfer.

When I share my thought with you, it is able to spread from my mind into your mind. However, the thought can't transmit itself, it requires me to communicate it to you in some way. Whether that is through words, music, pictures, or physical interaction (such as hugs, kisses, violent acts, sex, etc.), it is still communication. Communication is required for the transfer of thoughts, and communication enables thoughts to be shared.


3. Viruses are only effective if the host is vulnerable to them. Hosts can have immunities.

Plants and animals have immunities and vulnerabilities to biological viruses. Computers have immunities and vulnerabilities to digital viruses. Likewise, we humans have immunities and vulnerabilities to thoughts. Consider the following:

"Clouds are made from dirt and that dust left over in your pencil sharpener after you've emptied it out."

You and I both know that this is bullshit. This is an obvious lie, and therefore we are not likely to believe it, nor to give it much thought. You and I are immune to this thought, and therefore we are not likely to share it with other people. This thought will fail to reproduce and spread, just as a biological or computer virus will fail to reproduce and spread if the target host has immunity.

Now consider the following:
   
"Jesus Christ died for our sins, and through Him we are forgiven."
   
Whether you believe this thought or not, you cannot deny that it is one of the most widely accepted and agreed-upon ideas in all of history. In the viral sense, it has spread widely, due to the vulnerability we all have to thoughts of this kind. Which leads me to point 4...


4. Viruses can change their host through infection.

When a virus enters its host, it is capable of changing that host in various ways. These changes can be beneficial or detrimental, they can do good or they can do harm. Thoughts are very much the same. They have the potential to change our lives, whether for good or worse.

Thoughts can change you in many ways. First we'll discuss the biological side of things.
   
Your brain consists largely of neurons. These neurons help transmit ideas and emotions throughout the brain, through neurotransmitters. When you experience a certain thought or emotion, those neurons make connections to other neurons. When you stop thinking a certain thought or feeling a certain emotion, those connections grow weaker and can break. The more you think about something, the stronger the connections become.

It is in this way that thoughts can actually change your brain, physically. When you get a thought that affects you strongly, one you think about often and apply to your life in some manner, your neurons actually shift to accomodate that thought. They make and break connections to better enable that thought to exist in your mind. So when someone gives you a new idea, they are in fact actively changing the physical structure of your brain!

Now, let's look at the psychological side of things. When you get a thought and apply it to your life, your other thoughts, it has the potential to inspire, to improve your life. It also has the potential to depress and destroy you, depending on how you take it.

If I convince you that you're worthless, your thoughts will tend to shift to worthlessness, and it could even affect you to the point of suicide.

But if I tell you that you're beautiful, wonderful, and capable of anything, that you're a delightful and amazing person, and that I love you... You are more likely to feel good things, be inspired to do good things. You will feel better about yourself. Those thoughts can save your life.

Thoughts, just like viruses, have the potential to change you in profound ways.
   
And thoughts, like viruses, have the ability to adapt and evolve... Which we'll discuss next.
   
   
5. Viruses are not alive, but they can evolve.

According to scientists and biologists, viruses are not alive. They do not undergo all the actions and processes necessary to be deemed "alive." Yet they can evolve, just like any life form.

Likewise, thoughts are not living, but can evolve just the same.
   
When you consider a certain thought, you are likely to apply it to other thoughts. When this happens, one of three possibilities can occur:

A.) The new thought might replace the old thought.
    ("The Earth is flat" became "The Earth is round.")

B.) The thoughts might coexist peacefully, having no real effect on each other.
    ("The Earth is round" coexists with "I like chocolate.")
   
C.) The thoughts might combine, complimenting each other and becoming a new thought.
    ("I like chocolate" and "I like strawberries" becomes "I should try chocolate covered strawberries.")

When your thoughts replace other thoughts, this is evolution. Old thoughts that get discarded are no longer important. Their neuron-connections are discarded, and the thought is no longer shared with others. Meanwhile, the new thought takes over and grows stronger, making new neuron-connections and being shared more often.

When your thoughts combine with other thoughts, this is also evolution. When Thought A and Thought B combine, they create the new (and possibly more viral) Thought C. This allows for further evolution, when Thought C is shared with others. Thought C might be even more popular than A or B, and might spread everywhere. (After all, Chocolate Strawberries are pretty popular, yes?) Just like a strain of virus in the wild might mutate and become more viral, so can thoughts change and become more influential.


So there you have it.
   
Thoughts are viruses, by definition. They can be shared, and they can change everyone they're shared with. And they can evolve.

And now I've spread my own virus to you. Whether you're immune to this idea or not, it has changed you, even if only temporarily. This idea has changed the physical structure of your brain, and has likely affected the way you see things in some way. And the more you think about it, the more it will change you. You'll find that it is applicable to many aspects of your life, from religion to community, from work to play, from social to personal.

Consider the idea that the Bible, Koran, and Torah are three of the most long-lasting, influential, and popular compendiums of thoughts that mankind has ever known. These books describe many thoughts that have drastically changed the lives of billions. You could say that these are some of the most viral thoughts ever conceived. Whether you agree with or believe in them or not, you cannot deny the power and influence they've had over people for thousands of years.

Hope this all makes sense to you. Feel free to spread this to everyone you know.

Right-Brain Rehabilitation

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I've spent far too long away from my keyboard, far too long without typing or writing or creating anything new. This isn't good for me. One of the things I try to do is keep myself balanced. My passions include both logical and artistic endeavors, from writing software to writing poetry, from logic puzzles to art. I enjoy creativity and learning, and I try to keep those balanced.

But recently I've found myself leaning too far to the left-brain, the logical side of life. While my creativity is still around, it's typically focused into software projects and thoughts about science and psychology. There isn't much effort going into the artistic side of my life, and I feel there should be.

That is one of the reasons for the creation of this blog. One of the other reasons is that I'm joining the Navy, and wanted a place for my friends to see how I'm doing. But the main reason for this site is just to get my creative flow back, to start putting words down, and to get inspired.

I've had a few thoughts recently about books and stories I'd like to write. And while I know I'll probably never finish a full-length novel any time soon, I would like to try my hand at the short-stories. I just need to find my starting point, and a little inspiration.

Anyway... Here's to hoping this site will bring out my creative side.

Kidney Stones

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Allie and I were going to go see the Dresden Dolls tonight in Dallas. She's been excited about this for a long time, and I was too. She'd already bought the tickets, and everything was set...

And then, this morning, at 4 AM, she woke up in pain. And it kept getting worse. For 3 hours she dealt with it without any medical assistance, until her mother finally took her to the hospital and she was given pain meds. (Not that she avoided going to the hospital -- she waited 30 minutes before telling her mother about it, then her mother took an hour getting ready to go, then for an hour and a half they waited for the doctors at the hospital.)

She had kidney stones. At her age, that's rare. Usually you're older before that happens.

Anyway.

So she had kidney stones. Lots of pain. At 10 AM she calls me (having been given morphine) and lets me know that she was at the hospital with kidney stones, and that she may not make it to the show. Well, the show was the last of my worries, with her having kidney stones and all. But after assuring me that she was okay, she told me to try to find someone to take to the show.

So I called all three of my friends, and then called a couple of hers, and nobody could go that didn't already have a ticket. But, gladly, Allie had started feeling better.

So she decided she felt okay to go. Yay! And we were going to see Bree, our friend who we hadn't seen in a year. It looked to be a good day.

But, after a few hours at the show (before the band even started playing), Allie started feeling bad again. So we went home, and left Bree and her family and friend to enjoy the show without us.

I don't feel bad about it, except I know that Allie was really looking forward to that show. I don't mind that I didn't get to see it; there will be other opportunities. I'm just glad Allie's feeling better.

But overall, today wasn't a very good day for her. I'm glad I could be there, but I hope tomorrow's better.

Tomorrow I visit my grandparents and we start paying off my debt. Excitement!

More news as it arrives.

Join my Church.

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I'm now an officially ordained Minister in the Universal Life Church, and as such, I've started my own church, called the Legion of Life (LoL). All are welcome to join, regardless of religious affiliation (or lack thereof).

The ULC is purely non-denominational, and accepts people from all faiths and religions.

So, now that I'm a Minister, I can legally perform weddings, baptisms, funerals, and any manner of other religious ceremonies (except circumcision, which I'll leave to the doctors).

No joke. This is totally for real.

You can call me Reverend Iceschade now.

And join my church, the LoL.